| a marriage last takes work and many couples simply | | | | of the conversation. Listen to clues as to what |
| just grow apart. This issue is very common in couples | | | | makes this hobby so special to them and how you |
| that marry young, and it is easy to understand. At | | | | can get involved. Talk to them about what you find |
| age eighteen or twenty, you are certainly a very | | | | interesting in the subject. For example, if your |
| different person than you will be at age 30. When | | | | husband belongs to a book club and he always talks |
| you are young, your interests and direction are still | | | | about the books he is reading, ask him about his |
| evolving. And, when that evolution begins to slow | | | | favorite authors or what kinds of books he likes best |
| and the couple find themselves in their thirties or | | | | - mystery, suspense, sci-fi. If you don't have a |
| forties, they may suddenly discover that they have | | | | compelling desire to share their hobby or interest you |
| grown apart. If you find yourself approaching middle | | | | should at least let them know that you respect and |
| age with little in common with your spouse, you may | | | | honor it. Register your gourmet cook spouse in a |
| feel like strangers. Maybe you've run out of things to | | | | local session with a famous chef or find a website or |
| talk about - other than your children - or you find | | | | a recipe you think will interest them. A particularly |
| yourself alone on a Saturday afternoon, trying to | | | | effective and favorite way to develop a common |
| remember what to say. One thing that helps keep | | | | interest is to look at what interests the both of you |
| couples together is to have common interests or | | | | now. Then try to find a common area or a 'type' of |
| hobbies. Now I'm not saying you need to do | | | | activity you both like. An example might be if both of |
| everything together or that you must buy a rifle and | | | | you like sports, but you don't have a sport in |
| get to a practice range if your husband is an avid | | | | common. Perhaps you bowl and you work out at the |
| hunter. But you might look for common areas of | | | | gym, and your wife runs. So, you are both in good |
| interest that you can expand on together. Here are | | | | physical condition and you both like to be active. |
| some other ideas you can consider, if you are looking | | | | Maybe you'd like to take a sailing course together. |
| for ways to share your interests and bond with your | | | | Eventually, you might even buy a boat if you both |
| spouse. If you don't want to take on something that | | | | like the activity. But, for right now, start small. If you |
| interests your spouse, and jump in with both feet, | | | | both like music and there is one kind that you both |
| you can still 'share' your thoughts and let them know | | | | like, buy tickets to a concert and go see the artist. |
| you noticed what is important to them. Try clipping | | | | Or take the day to go to a museum or fair that has |
| an article about favorite football team, or record a | | | | things that you both might like. You can visit your |
| TV appearance by your wife's favorite actor. Better | | | | favorites exhibits together and show each other |
| yet, read a newspaper article about something that | | | | what you like most about each part. Along the way, |
| interests your spouse and talk to them about it over | | | | you will rediscover the things you love about each |
| dinner. Ask them questions about what you read and | | | | other and the things you already have in common. |
| what they know about the topic and watch their | | | | And together you might just develop some new |
| face light up. Next time your spouse talks about their | | | | interests! |
| favorite activity, really listen to them and be a part | | | | |